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Writer's pictureSelianthe Ka

A Guide To The Aspects Of Self

Updated: Nov 6




As humans we tend to be complex beings, yet we all carry a common goal: how to feel happy, content and fulfilled. One of the keys to feeling fulfilled is to make sure the different aspects of your being are healed, balanced and nourished. These aspects are parts of ourselves and can be longtime forgotten or suppressed. We might have lost contact with our Inner Child self, battle unconscious shadows or not even be aware we also have a Higher Self aspect or an Inner Warrior that can help you in tough situations.

These parts of your consciousness all have different needs, contributions and stories to our lives. When they're happy and healed, we are happy, and your life shows up balancing play with organisation & responsibility, giving with taking and receiving. We have healthy boundaries and healthy egoism – leading to a fulfilling, satisfying, earthly yet divine life.



The Inner Shadow


What is the Inner Shadow?

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This is a quote from the famous Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung who coined the term 'shadow self' (or 'the Jungian Shadow'). Shadows are hidden aspects of our being that are just out of reach of our conscious awareness, a blind spot of our psyche and a lower vibrational expression of our being. They keep you stuck resonating on traumatic experiences and people, yet you cannot figure out why. Shadow aspects are created by painful experiences in this life or beyond, and can show up as destructive impulses, easily feeling hurt and triggered and manifest themselves in aggressive or victimised behaviour. They express the negative emotions such as unhealthy anger, resentment, powerlessness, jealousy, greed, fear, need for power, control, revenge, and so on. These hidden, rejected and disassociated parts project old stories onto the present moment as the emotional and psychological wounds aren’t yet healed. In truth they come up for healing. So imagine someone makes a comment and the old story gets re-activated, while in this new situation this is totally unnecessary.


"These parts of your consciousness all have different needs, contributions and stories to our lives."

Healing your Inner Shadow

Shadow selves are waiting for your healing and integration. You can heal your Inner Shadows in various ways.

  1. Self-Inquiry

    One great approach is to use self-inquiry. Ask yourself: what does my reaction shows me? What is it in me that creates this situation? What is the underlying emotion, unmet need or false belief I’m holding? Why is this situation repeatedly showing up in my life? Why is this triggering me every time? How does this makes me feel? What are my beliefs around this topic? Journaling is also a great way to explore these questions.

  2. Invite the Inner Shadow forward

    You can also invite your shadows to come forward into your awareness, this way you get to know them. You can ask this part in your mind or aloud when in private what it needs to feel whole and at peace again. If you do this before falling asleep you can also set an intention for your dreamstate to receive guidance.

  3. Sending love & acceptance

    Instead of resistance, which keeps your shadow sides in the dark and at bay (however not healed and integrated), you can choose to embrace and accept these parts. By embracing them, accepting them, sending them love and compassion and listening to them, the parts become integrated and healed. You stop pushing them away and start to deeply feel and observe the emotions.

  4. A healing session

    Another great way is to shine the higher dimensional Light on these parts, in which they simply and gracefully dissolve. Old, lost parts of you that are stuck in time and space can come forward and receive the compassion, completion and acceptance they need through the healing of the Higher Light.


"Shadows keep you stuck resonating on traumatic experiences and people, yet you cannot figure out why."

Through acknowledgement our Shadows are integrated again, leading to increased authenticity, inner peace, self-love, self-compassion and connection with the world. In the beginning it's a bit like cleaning up a pan that has a lot of old food remains stuck to it. When scrubbing, at first the pan becomes super messy for a moment, however soon you have a wonderful clean object that can serve you well.



Healing Affirmations

"I'm worthy of love and happiness no matter what happened to me".

"I open myself to healing. It is safe for me to heal".

"May I understand what it is I need to know in order to heal the situation."



The Ego


The Unhealthy Ego

The ego is a limited identity that is created to survive and separate. It deeply and only roots in the physical reality. An unhealthy ego shows up as resistance, reactivity, defensiveness and an inflated sense of importance. It feels easily threatened, hurt or attacked as it is fragile. It's a part of you that likes to 'keep things the way they are' as it's afraid of change. It doesn't want to face the Inner Shadows to heal and grow as it does everything to avoid pain. With change / growth the ego part dies / dissolves as it's no longer needed. Without change it feels safe with what it knows, even when the situation is uncomfortable or damaging! Accepting change means this part is no longer necessary and it can be let go of, so of course it will resist. Maybe at some point in your life this expression of ego might have been useful to survive, however consider it a plant that grew out of control and it's time to weed it out and plant new seeds. This part is eventually more destructive than constructive.

Since it doesn't want to change and experience the pain of growth, it will do everything to resist. Resistance can show up as 'not hearing something' or 'a sudden fatigue' that makes you turn away from the topic of growth. The unhealthy ego is perfect in sabotaging any soul growth progress. It will do anything to avoid any pain. It also needs badges of status and power, or control over others to feel safe. It needs to feel important, better than others and feeds on attention and worship. However deep down it knows it's a false and temporary construct. The ego wants to know. The ego projects. The ego doesn't want to see truth. The ego wants to hear names. Familiar names and names that matter in society. Why? Because it’s looking for safety. That’s all this truly is. The ego doesn’t feel safe in the world, because it’s built on only the material and not the eternity of the Soul Self. That’s why it feels fragile and needs all the material things and status and validation to feel safe. The best is to have compassion for the ego. In the waves of light shining truth on the illusion the ego has no choice but to dissolve.


So what does the healthy ego look like then?


"The ego doesn’t feel safe in the world, because it’s built on only the material and not the eternity of the Soul Self."

The Healthy Ego

Where the unhealthy ego is validated from the outside, the healthy ego / sense of self is validated from within. With this it's solid instead of fragile. And while it still also roots in the physical reality it can still co-exist with the Higher Self, serving the Higher Self rather than dominating. The healthy ego is an aspect that works as a supportive interface between you and the world. It separates you and outlines who you are. You're not completely merged with this identity though. It gives you clarity on yourself and helps to define yourself and to separate you from others. It helps you to find your place in the world. With a healthy ego you can easily live an authentic life. You stop being reactive and can reflect before you act. You respond instead of react. You go from wanting to allowing. You surrender to the infinite nature of life and at the same time the constant transitions as no moment is the same. You go from doing to being.

A healthy sense of self also has a lot to do with healing your Inner Shadow.


The Healing Movement

So how can we transition from an unhealthy to a healthy ego? The transition will happen naturally when you're ready. Wanting to force things is again control / ego, allowing and surrender comes from the soul. That being said: the trick lies in to stop feeding the unhealthy expression and catch it when it shows up. When this part shows up just sit with it, you don't react to it but let it flow through you but you don't feed it, give it any power or attention. Rather you give it up. Soon it will get smaller and quiet, until it dissolves and only the healthy ego structure remains. In this process of surrender you move slowly from control to trust, from reactivity to the ability to respond. Our healthy ego is just an identity to serve the world and help people label you that need this still. You're not too attached to it though. Sometimes the ego can also suddenly break; when faced with a suffering that is so great you just have to let it go and give it up as you simply cannot carry it, when you're in the presence of a divine being and touched by grace the ego self also can suddenly dissolve. In order to catch the ego you have to feel and turn within. You become an observing awareness of yourself and you work with the unfolding of your life. You are always present. In a world that is designed to constantly take us away from ourselves this is truly a wonderful achievement, one you can feel proud of. Society is built to distract you from this process and likes to keep you dependent on outside validation, this drives the economy.


Exercise

When this unhealthy part shows up just sit with it, you don't react to it but let it flow through you but you don't feed it, give it any power or attention. Say "I see you and I will not feed you anymore".


Healing Affirmations

"It's OK when I don't have al the answers right now".

"I allow myself to change and grow".

"I see you right now and I will not feed you any longer".



image by Selianthe Ka


The Higher Self (Soul, or Atman)


What is the Higher Self or Soul Self?

The Soul is the eternal part of you, the part that lives beyond time and space and can choose to send a part of its energy / consciousness down to earth into a body (spirit). It can also be part of an oversoul. Without it we're not able to be alive. The Higher Self part of you is a divine counterpart. It overlights you like a spirit guide and is closely connected to Source / Prime Creator / God / The Universe (whichever term resonates with you the most). It is the part of you that understands its on the Divine level in harmony with everything, and it's in your benefit to forgive. It seeks wisdom, peace and kindness, and lives in a state of love, abundance and harmony. It knows there is no victim; there’s always a choice and on the Soul level you’re always a creator. It is the aspect that has the bird-view on your life and is aware of the bigger picture. The Soul also has no desires for a certain outcome (no attachments). It trust that whatever happens is for the best.

When you live from your Soul's awareness, you think in possibilities. You are collabortive instead of competitive. You make decisions for the best interest of all involved. You experience patience and unconditional love (yet have healthy boundaries!). You are creative (whatever this may look like for you) and you are in flow. You are willing to see the truth. You establish a strong awareness that whatever happens is for your highest good. You are in surender to the Divine. This part of you sees the bigger workings of the Universe. Your Higher Self helps you to see the blessings in adversity and gives you strength and clarity in tough or tricky situations.

The Soul (or in Hinduism, the Atman) also has a particular mission (big or small), an intention to achieve a lesson (gain awareness of it's own shadows) or a goal (such as materialise higher consciousness on earth) as well as agreements with other Souls. If a Soul doesn't fulfils its purpose or finishes an agreement there will always be a next life or timeline. The Higher the consciousness of the soul, the more options a soul has for this. The soul does not inhibit multiple physical bodies at the same time. When the soul is finally rich with experiences it brings these back to the Source light and when ready will go up back into this Light.


"We are confident, authentic and clear on where to go and have acceptance for where and who we are."

How To Connect To Your Soul Self

At some point you will feel a natural process unfolding, where you crave more information on the deeper questions of life. Who am I? Why am I here? Why am I where I am? You'll get thirsty for people that speak with a divine tone of divine experiences and divine states of consciousness which helps to fine-tune your own consciousness. "When you realise that the only thing blocking access to God consciousness is what the ego / personality self has created, you are ready to take responsibility for creating your own reality in a more conscious and harmonious way" quoted from Amorah Quan Yin's book 'The Pleiadian Workbook'.

When we shift into our Higher Self by healing and doing the work on ourselves, we bring ourself in balance and start to resonate with peace as the shadows are healed and integrated. We are confident, authentic and clear on where to go and have acceptance for where and who we are.

The Soul is connected to you via special energy channels that merge with your physical body. These channels can be opened and templates can be upgraded in the energetic body so you can hold more of your Higher Self / Light / awareness. The process of Ascension is not rejecting the material world and only going up into The One, it's also bringing the Soul self down into the body, bringing down its energy and merging it with the body. You can work with the Soul via various techniques, all by turning within (using meditation, mindfulness, dreaming, feeling and pausing). Slowly by clearing out more and more thought patterns, behaviours and stuck, old emotions there is more and more space for your Higher Self energy to come into your body. You will start to hold more and more Light and gain an expanded awareness of yourself and the world around you. This process is also known as 'raising your vibration'.


Exercise

  1. One amazing one is to 'download' or absorb the light (your own higher consciousness) into your earthly body so you expand your awareness, release blockages and re-pattern your system. You can do this by visualising your soul standing in front of you like a big, bright shining white light with a human contour, or a star or a light spiral. Then imagine how your chakra system is receiving this beautiful light / awareness and it's washing through your body. See how any lower energy is simply flowing out of your body for healing and transmutation. You can do this every morning and / or every evening before falling asleep.

  2. Another wonderful exercise is to have a moment of gratitude before falling asleep. Gratitude is a beautiful, high-vibrational feeling that is in alignment with your Higher Self.


Feeling Abandoned By Your Soul

You can actually also feel abandoned by this part of yourself, which can be the situation for many sensitive, high vibrational souls. Before incarnating, the Higher Self can have been unaware or underestimating the impact of living in the material world (which includes duality, so also lower and harsher expressions of consciousness). Especially Souls without many incarnations on earth can have a certain innocence and get themselves in trouble. When this trouble happens the Soul will abandon the human part (disassociate) and the rough, earthly plane as this is too harsh in contrast with the Higher Dimensions. Of course this will not solve the situation.

Also with this part of yourself, your Higher Self, you can have an invitation to talk and express your needs. You can invite this part forward to help you deal with fears, loneliness and acceptance of your choice to be here.


"Your feelings whisper wisdom and are your teachers, your emotions are your children."

Working With Your Higher Self

You can also use the body to feel. Your feelings carry wisdom and are your teachers, your emotions are your children. Both are important but need to be handled in different ways. Do you feel you expand or contract when feeling into a decision? Does something feel light or challenging? In a good way or unpleasant way? When you feel you expand it’s aligned with your Soul's highest path and you know what’s right for you. When you contract your choice might be up for a second thought.


Higher Self Feelings & Emotions

Instead of the emotions that are still stuck in your system due to the unhealed inner shadows (such as arrogance, jealousy, hatred, anger, fear, feeling not good enough, helplessness, frustration, struggle, stinginess) some of the emotions coming from your higher consciousness are:

– faith

– hope

– humility

– hamlesness

–  forgiveness

– courage

– clarity

– devotion

– playfulness

– joy

– surrender

– discernment

– detachment

– bliss

– honesty

– generosity

– acceptance


Healing Affirmation

“I open myself to the flow of higher knowing.” 

"I allow the Light to come in".

"I am infinite, I am Light".



image by Selianthe Ka


The Inner child


Your Inner Child is the innocent, sensitive and vulnerable young part of you, i.e. the version of you when a child. This part still lives within you, and you can even have more inner children with different ages. It's the part of your being, that lives with the unhealed emotions and needs from when you were little. It's also the part that loves to play and laugh, to be carefree, to be in wonder.

Many of us tend to neglect our inner children as adults. We don’t play anymore, forgot our hobbies and we don’t want to look at ourselves as a child when this time was painful. When doing this not only your parents abandoned you in the past, however you as an adult are doing it all over again when refusing to connect with this part of you. The healing movement lies in sending 'your child you' the love, acceptance, support and safety it needed and lacked once. In this now, you can heal the painful memories and experiences this way and re-parent yourself where needed.


"Many of us tend to neglect our inner children as adults. We don’t play anymore, forgot our hobbies and we don’t want to look at ourselves as a child when this time was painful."

Exercise

Go sit cofortably somewhere in private and close your eyes. Then in you mind ask your Inner Child to come forward.  Observe if it's shy, or if it is happy to see you and runs into your arms. It might be that you need to regain the trust of your inner child and it's weary to come forward as it has been abandoned by you for so long. Then gently ask what it needs from you right now. Say 'I’ll take care of you'. Show what healthy behaviour looks like and tell your child it's safe now and you'll take care of him/her.


Healing Affirmations

"I am safe and taken care of".

"I allow myself to make room for play".

"I'm an adult now and can handle this situation with confidence, ease and grace".



The Inner Feminine & Masculine

As humans beings we embody both the soft, intuitive, birthing, nourishing, feminine energy as well as the protective, intellectual, tough, disciplined masculine energy. To thrive in life we experience these sides within us ideally in balance, so we're not only chasing deadlines but also enjoy much needed rest and relaxation.

This concept has nothing to do with gender and is simply an expression of the soul. Some souls carry more feminine energy and some more masculine.

Both can be tipped over into unhealthy states, where the feminine can be overbearing or victimised, and the masculine too dominant, rational or violent.



The Human Self

Being divine as well as earthly, we are bound to certain necessities in this human world. We are born with earthly needs, however this can be difficult to acknowledge – especially for spiritual people. We tend to reject the earthly needs and don't deem them sacred. However the body is innocent (the mind isn't) and deserves to be treaded with love and care. Instead of having shame over having to eat, shame about bodily smells, shame for having the need for companionship and sexual intimacy, don't force yourself to give these up when it doesn't happen out of love or creates any suffering. There is no need to deny your human self, it is part of your expression and is allowing you to enjoy life here on earth. Lovingly groom your body, choose wonderful partners for under the sheets, have a great, nourishing dinner. Allow yourself these wonderful earthly experiences as when you're not in a body these things are hard to come by. Those needs are allowed to be there. If suppressed they will only turn into shadows.


Paramatman

Paramatman, or Source, or God, or the Universe, or Prime Creator, or whatever name resonates with you, is the infinite consciousness that is connected to every living being, to all that is. Everything is spirited and everything carries a connection to this consciousness. It dwells in everything, everywhere, at the same time and exists in a way that goes beyond the understanding of the human mind.

It has no home address, but is rather a dimension that you could imagine as an ever unfolding, huge, bright, golden-white light, surrounded by angelic beings and divine deities. Everything is an expression of this consciousness that is formless, shapeless and neither male nor female, and that stretches out in infinite compassion, creativity and love.


Source unknown



Feel welcome to share the information on this site with others, although I do request that you include this website address, credit your source/page links and author.

All postings by Selianthe Ka – Sweet Energy Yoga, may be used for personal, non-profit purposes only.


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